but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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