Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize