Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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