bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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