why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize