i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
