Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
