Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
