the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Bring me that man meat
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
