You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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