shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
