Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
