no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
