Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
