You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
...so i touched it.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
