Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
