why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
