I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
