I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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