Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
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