why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
