I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
