I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize