Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
