Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
