I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize