When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The adults are the big ones right?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
