i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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