you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
