Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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