i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
