would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
