dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
