just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize