so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
