Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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