everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
