good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My underwear smells like fireworks.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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