she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
