Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
