I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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