what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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