i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
