bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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