i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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