I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
