So drunk, too bad you don't want this
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
