alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
