Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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