She said her name was "party"
Welp...herpes.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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