my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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