I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
