Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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