make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
