Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
