i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
