he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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